my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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