Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
