So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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