So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
