Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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