he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
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