I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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