Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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