So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
