I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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