he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
