Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
