Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
