I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
