Yo dont text me then not text me
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
