I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
