I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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