i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
