I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
