guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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