every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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