duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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