How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
