im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
This house was built for laser tag.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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