If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
