Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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