her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
one might say we're banned from that church
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
