i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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