She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
