yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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