So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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