Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
