I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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