Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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