are you still at the devil's house?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
