are you still at the devil's house?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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