I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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