I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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