Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
