I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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