at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
