fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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