well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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