Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You can't just leave with hair like that
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
