you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
