then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
