I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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