highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
