We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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