I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
