it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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