I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
