God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
