The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
