if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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