Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
