just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
