Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
she told me i tasted like america
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
