it wasn't lemon gatorade
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
What a dumb baby whore.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
