Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
