I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
