i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
