Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
